Reddit Has Thoughts on Paris Hilton Cookware. So Do We

I'm a huge fan of the Kitchen Confidential subreddit and have been since I first read Anthony Bourdain's book of the same name back in 2013. The community is full of snarky line cooks, stressed-out front-of-house staff, and dishwashers quietly holding the whole operation together (much like they do in real life).

If you scroll Reddit often, you might be familiar with this subreddit because of its surge in popularity when a user called F1exican started posting a pile of cut chives every day until the subreddit deemed them perfect. (It finally happened a few weeks ago, technically after 69 days, because of course it did.) There were cats. There were brand controversies. There were endless hand-drawn planes and hearts. It was maybe my favorite internet phenomenon since Vine was still a thing.

Left bereft of its Chivelord and his daily posting, the subreddit quickly moved on to a new meme: Paris Hilton cookware. While scrolling, it dawned on me that I happened to have a few pieces of this very cookware in my never-ending “to test” pile of gear. There are sharpeners, Dutch ovens, knife sets, thermometers, and more, but I had a knife block and some nonstick pots and pans. So here I am to share my thoughts, from one humble home-chef-Reddit-scroller to the internet at large. (I come in peace!)

Paris Hilton Knife Block: the Good, the Bad, and the Wobbly

It feels important here to note that I generally love Paris Hilton. I love her bimbo-fied accent, I love her hit single “Stars Are Blind,” and I love her perfume. I also think it's important to point out that I am the resident WIRED Reviews team “color pink” enthusiast. But I am sorry to say that her knife block is not it.

The Paris Hilton cleaver has been out of stock since I started looking for it, but this knife block is still available, as are several other iterations with slightly fancier bases or different inclusions. My set came with an 8-inch chef's knife, a 5-inch utility knife, a 5-inch Santoku knife, a 3.5-inch paring knife, and six serrated steak knives, as well as a pair of shears with a built-in bottle opener. The blades are “high-carbon stainless steel.”

Fitting the steak knives into their dedicated slots in the rubberwood knife block was a master class in overcoming my sensory difficulties. As the serrated teeth of each blade bit into the soft, pliable wood of the block, I wondered out loud to myself whether I was placing them correctly. They wiggled around with abandon, barely seated unless I babied each one home. We were off to an excellent start.