Dear Bartenders: Please Stop Announcing That My Drink Has No Alcohol

I'd like to preface this by saying: I'm not a fussy restaurant customer.

I barely — and I mean practically never — complain. But nothing kills my vibe more than going out to a bar or restaurant with my friends, ordering a mocktail or N/A drink, and having bartenders question me.

"You know that doesn't have alcohol, right?"

"Oh, you mean the MOCKtail?"

Yes, I mean the mocktail. Do we really have to draw attention to it? Meanwhile, my friends give me that awkward smile like, "Oh, you're not drinking with us."

The truth is, I want to drink. I want to have one or two without spiraling into hangxiety or sending dumb texts I'll regret. But after having started drinking at 15 years old, I think I need a reset. One drink leads to two, two leads to three, and three leads to, "Why am I out until 3 a.m.?" I've built a toxic relationship with alcohol for myself. And I know it.

That's just my story. But imagine someone who's pregnant and wants to hide it, someone who's on antibiotics and can't drink (but doesn't want to explain), or a someone who is an alcoholic trying to better themselves. One bartender questioning their drink can be enough to derail them.

I don't want to be questioned or looked at weirdly for being sober. I'm already dealing with that on my own.

And bartenders, the worst possible case in this scenario is that you give someone a mocktail when they actually wanted a cocktail. No big deal. There are ways to make sure someone gets the drink they ordered without pointing out that it's non-alcoholic, and I'd love it if we could get there.

Haley Lyndes is a shopping writer and editor with more than seven years of experience in the publishing space. Specializing in home and lifestyle, she covers everything from furniture and mattresses to beauty products and fitness gear. Her writing has appeared in BuzzFeed, Travel + Leisure, and Real Simple.